Let Us Take You for a Ride - Cliff Richard

The bush upon the rotor pump

Is pushed into the floater sump

It’s wearing out the grunion teeth

By bearing on the cog beneath

Which means in terms of tension swings

The seams of your suspension springs

In cyclic thirds are set apart

In very simple words, dear ladies

Your car won’t start

So we’re making this offer

Ride with us, come ride with us

Through the countryside with us

For our bus has every comfort inside

We are pleading

Please let us take you for a ride

To try to wrench the gyro sphere

Without a bench would take all year

Don’t risk it like this on the road

The brisket feed light might explode

The ball valve’s past the hydrotrend

There’s something nasty round the bend

The loofah tank is running slow (low?)

To put it very frankly

Ladies, your car won’t go

So ride with us

Come ride with us

Better be allied with us

Here’s an offer

That is quite bona fide

We are pleading

Please let us take you for a ride

You know I wouldn’t be surprised

That gasket hood looks pulverised

The shock recoil is now reversed

Compression (seep?) will soon distend

The leak that leaks in your big end

The lousy coke has got a hitch

Around the choke adjustment switch

Your piston spark (spout?) is dynamite

(in?/and?) cutting off the parking light

And, from its shake, your outside brake

Is needing a new drum!

In fact make no mistake

You’ve really had it chum

So ride with us

Come ride with us

Past the forest

And the riverside

Take a tour with us

That’s really nation-wide

For as guys we’re really qualified

There’s no need to look terrified

For when you have tried

You will say — wide-eyed!

We are just what the doctor specified

We are pleading, please let us take you for a…

…ride with us, ride with us

Please let us take you for a ride